I Will Never Shop With That Boy Again

So, yesterday I decided since my son already woke me up at 6:13 this morning, I would go ahead and do the week's grocery shopping. I loaded him up, and off to Wal-Mart we go. I had high hopes that since Sarah wasn't with us, he would behave. You see Colin by himself and Sarah by herself is ok. Together, well, I'm reminded of Die Hard 3 when the guy is explaining the explosive stuff in the bombs. If you mix them together, it's bad.

Things went quite well until check-out time. I had to get him out of the basket to put the bread in where he usually sits. I'm paying for groceries when he darts out of site. I'm looking around, and I holler for him. He hollers back, from inside the locked hair salon! This hair salon has these chains across the front doors that go from the floor to the ceiling. He lifted the bottom up just enough to fit his little tail through.

I'm standing on the outside fuming, he's on the inside grinning. I yell for him to come out, and he almost does, until he realizes I can't come in and get him. This is where the fun really begins. You can see the excitement on his face. He starts making circles around the chairs yelling and giggling. At any moment I'm expecting the giant tower of shampoo to hit the floor.

I don't normally beg my children to do anything, but I was pleading with this child to come out. The destruction that this boy can create is immense. I tried walking away. You know, pretending I was going to leave him. I said "Bye Colin. I'm leaving." He says "No, mama, I coming." I stop to wait for him, turn around, and he giggles and starts making circles again.

I stopped one of the employees to ask if they had a key for the place. She says no, it is privately owned and they rent the space from Wal-Mart. I tell her about Colin and she can hardly contain herself. The more she laughs the more wound up Colin gets. He has an audience now.

I threaten him with a paddle, then with his father. Nothing is working. The nice employee then says "Colin, would you like some candy?" I'm thinking, "This is never going to work." I was wrong. Out he came.