I'll Take Mustard Yellow for $500 Alex

I must warn you before you read. This post is about dirty diapers. If this makes you ill, don't read. I know, you are wondering "Why dirty diapers?" Of all the subjects in the world, "Why?"Because I have a boring life and I want to share my boredom with you.

My little boy Colin is still in diapers. I am living for non-diaper days. Want to know why? I am tired of playing the guessing game. What, may you ask is the guessing game. Well, after your child finishes eating baby food and is eating regular people food you get to do a guessing game when you change the dirty diaper the next day. Not that you have to participate in this, but when you open a nasty, stinking, thinking something died in there diaper, you kinda wonder, "What the Hell did you eat! Especially if it's not the typical brown color.

Yesterday morning for instance. Bright red. My first irrational thought was "Oh my God, he is bleeding, he has cancer." Then my rational side remembered we had Sloppy Joe's for supper. Tomato sauce, red, you get the game now.

My favorite is Lucky Charms poop. This is always a bright green. I don't know why the green clovers prevail over the yellow moon, or blue diamonds. Go figure. Ha ha, blue poop. The closest he came to that was the diaper after eating purple play-dough. Play dough was banned from my house after that.

Another one worth note is strawberries. No, not the red but the little seeds that their tummies can't digest. You open that diaper and think you have a colony of bugs in there. Always a bit scary for a second or two.

One more thing and then I swear, not another word about poop. Well, maybe I'll have to post when he finally poops in the potty. Boredom people, boredom.

Boy's poop smells a hundred times worse than girls. You can smell my son's dirty diapers from space. Call me crazy, but I swear there is something in a male's stomach that digests differently than a female. You will know if you are blessed enough to have a boy and a girl.

Now that you know I have absolutely nothing else going on in my life, have a good day.