I was picking up Sarah from preschool yesterday and had my son Colin with me. We got there pretty early so we had time to kill. I turned the van off and let him out of his car seat. He found plenty to get into, including some gum.
Now Colin is always very particular when he opens his gum about always putting the wrapper in the trash. He opened the piece I gave him, gave me the wrapper, and went about his business. Little did I know at the time he snagged an extra piece. This will be relevant to the other part of the story.
It came to be close to time for Sarah to be coming out so I got up and had to wrestle him back in his car seat (which, by the way, sits directly behind my seat).
I was picking her buddy Jacob up also and I have to buckle him in his seat when he rides with us. I see the two of them come out of the building, and I get out of the van to go around to the side where he will be sitting. Well, when I got of the van I felt something in my pants. Get your mind out of the gutter - it felt like something had crawled down the back of my pants.
I stood there, frozen. I didn't know what to do. There are cars of parents lined up behind me, all eyes forward. Do I stick my hand down the back of my jeans to find out what in the world it is, completely and utterly mortified, or do I risk being stung or bitten by whatever I think is there?
My mind goes back to Halloween night about 25 years ago when I was completely stripped of my costume in the middle of the street by my father when I thought a bee had been trapped in there.
I choose to risk the sting or the bite. I walk as slowly as possible around the side of the van. I smile at the teacher, try to make small talk, praying silently that it won't hurt too bad. I buckle Jacob and walk back around to get in the van. I close the door and pull forward. My mind is racing and although I don't want to be stung or bitten, I don't want to stick my hand back there and find out what it is.
I finally do it and it is...........a gum wrapper.
3 comments:
hahaha...sorry the visual on the "holly shit something is in my pants" without making a scene is great.
I'd have paid to see a video of the "small talk" you were trying to have with the teachers.
tweaker
I can relate! :-)
Getting stung by a bee is not my favourite mishap. Being allergic does not help either.
Many moons ago I am minding my own business while having a late summer ride on the bike, ex was pillon.
Zap and I get nailed in the inner thigh... SOP is get rid of the stinger asap and then swallow my little red pill and head for the ER.
In the process of disloging the stinger I had decided to run behind a tree... well it turns out this tree is around 3 foot high and my ex is laughing her head off at me with my jeans around my ankles... not my finest moment.
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